Drink Rum

Since I've started a wide variety of brain touching drugs (all prescription, non-recreational mind you) I've been having very bizarre dreams. They are very realistic... often times with me dreaming of mundane things like washing the car or dishes and waking and later being confused about why the car or dishes are dirty... the reality line is getting blurry.

Last night I had a dream about having knee surgery. The dream started with me waking up in the recovery area. My knee felt fine and I sat up in the bed and took a drink of ginger ale. I chatted with the nurse about how good I felt compared to last time I had the surgery when I woke up all a mess. They said the surgery went well and I had a 100% recovery prognosis. My mom and wife came in and we chatted. It was all very normal. The doctor came in and discussed how successful everything went. He then mentioned that they'd found a large hole in the bone and sinus membrane in my skull. Apparently this hole was causing all of my problems and it needed to be repaired. They then stuck hot irons up my nose to burn the hole shut and then they had to take my face off to repair the bone. They also didn't use any painkillers... they just did it.

I woke up.

My brain is a jerk.

Five more days to find out about surgery. I wasn't this nervous about it the first time... I think because I didn't know what I was getting into.

Posted by Monty at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am in a funk.

I guess that's a good way of describing it.

I think the total effects of all of my ailments over the past two years have finally beaten me down.

It's also quite possible that I'm still just draggin from last week's nightmare of the digestive system. Actually, I know that's part of the case.

Next week I will find out if I need additional surgery on my knee. I don't know what to hope for in that discussion. If it turns out that I need surgery, then at least they've found what's causing the crunching and grinding and can fix it. The problem is, of course, surgery. The surgery itself isn't terrible... at least compared to the many weeks of rehab, pain, and lack of mobility. If they say I don't need surgery, at least I spare myself the above unhappiness. But it also means they don't have a solution for the grinding and popping. I'm not ready to have a "bad knee" yet. Bad knees, bad backs, bad heart... that's for old people.

I'm not ready to give up on physical activity.

So that's next week.

I think I'm bored at my job too. Actually I know I am.

We hired a new guy, who is awesome, and that got all the poo-poo work off my plate. But the more I look at how things work here, the more I don't think I belong here. If I were king of the forest here, I'd fire me, give the new guy a raise and hire a kid out of college to be his assistant. That'd be cheaper and more productive than the current situation. They wouldn't do that here... but they should. Then again I'm used to working in a much more harsh environment. I'm also used to a strong role as a project manager and they really don't need one here.

Funk.

Posted by Monty at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm not sure how to go about writing this up, so I'll try to do it chronologically. This all happened this passed Tuesday.

4:00AM
I woke up around four in the morning with some pain and pressure in my stomach and lower intestines. I laid in bed hoping it would pass, but it increased and I sprinted into the bathroom. I had horrible bowel movements. Horrible. Then I had to vomit. I barely hit the flusher on the toilet before I started vomitting violently. I felt horrible, but a bit better, so I tried to go back to sleep.

4:15AM
It all happens again.

5:00AM-6:45AM
I continue to have problems. I'm now just passing water from my bowels and dry-heaving. Very painful. I try to drink fluids, pepto, gatorade. They all bounce. After the last vomiting episode, I start to feel very cold and I decide I need to see a doctor. I can barely walk up the stairs. Dizziness. Kerie was up getting ready for work and she gasped when she saw me. I had no color in my skin and my lips had turned blue. We got in the car and drove to the hospital.

7:15AM
We arrive at the ER, Kerie goes to check me in. I go find a bathroom. When I come back Kerie's still filing out forms. I curl up on the floor because I can't stand anymore. The nurses move me into a triage room and take vitals. Blood pressure is low, but heart rate is high. My body temperature was 96.2. I begin vomitting bile. They move me to a new room.

7:30AM
I'm lying in the bed trying as hard as I can not to vomit anymore. It was to the point that the heaving was pulling muscles in my chest and back and causing spasms. An administrator comes in and asks me to sign some forms. I sign the first two forms, but the third one I can only manage a scribble. Kerie gets to use her power of attorney powers because I'm deemed unable to make any other decisions regarding my treatment. A doctor comes in and throws the administrator out. That made me happy. The doctor and I played 20 questions and he decided his first course of action was to get me rehydrated. They gave me a liter of saline plus a drug to stop me from vomitting. It also caused drowsiness.

I don't remember the rest of the times the rest of the story takes place, but here it is.

They wanted to get a urine sample so they could test it. After an hour on the IV saline, I could finally urinate. Urine tests came back normal. I hadn't thrown up since the IV started, but the nausea was there, as were the horrible bowel movements. I had to get up and walk to the restroom with Kerie carrying my IV bag.

I drained the first liter of saline and they gave me another liter of fluid. They also gave me more anti-nausea medication and a painkiller. I finally felt a bit better. The cramping pain passed.

I stayed there for another hour getting more fluids. I was able to drink some juice without vomitting so they were ready to release me.

The verdict was gastroenteritis. You can wikipedia that if you'd like.

They gave me an order for bedrest for the rest of the week and a prescription for the anti-vomitting drug.

I went home and slept for 12 hours.

I woke up with a horrible headache and pain in my chest and back. It felt like I'd pulled my diaphram muscle.

It's now about 30 hours later and I feel much better. I feel like I have the flu with headaches, chills, etc. I've been able to drink fluids and eat a banana. I attempted a bowl of soup last night, but quit after getting halfway through it.

Basically, I have to wait for the virus to run its course. But it's tolerable compared to the hell that was yesterday.

Posted by Monty at 1:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Last night, my youngest dog (8 months) hit puberty. He was wrestling with the big dog and started humping him. The big dog got out of the way and the little guy just kept on humping the air basically. He was looking at me like, "I'M POSSESSED!" (Think Martin Short in Innerspace)

The big dog suddenly realized the he'd been violated and promptly beat the crap out of the puppy.

The big dog then mounted the puppy's head and gave him what fer.

Big gay dog orgy at my place.

Also, I put a down payment on Operation Deck & Fence. It should be ready by the end of May... just in time for a 3 day holiday weekend party.

Posted by Monty at 7:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So at 7:00AM I went into the hospital for an MRI. It was pretty much the same deal as last year... except instead of doing three passes/scans on my knee, they did six. The last three passes/scans came after I was injected with some sort of rare heavy metal called gadolinium. I don't know if I spelled it right. Basically, it messes with magnetic fields in the body and makes stuff shiney or something.

I'm really draggin.

My head is pounding and my stomach is flipping.

The metal juice stays in the blood vessels and will highlight areas that have (or don't) blood flow. Also, internal bleeding will show too.

I have to go throw up. Excuse me.

I've got another six hours of this before my kidneys get rid of the junk.

Maybe this is how they made T-1000s in Terminator 2.

That'd be bad ass. I'd be a liquid metal dude... with a bum knee.

Posted by Monty at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So we've met with contractors and we've made some decisions. We're ready to move forward on a deck and fencing project.

I'll now have the ability to have a grill and set many animals on fire. I may chose to eat some of them as well. I will be able to create my voo-doo sacrifice pit in the yard and with a privavy fence, no one will be able to tell who I'm tossing in the pit. Weeee!

I've also decided that the yard in the back will need a trained monkey to serve cocktails and lemonade.

Sadly, the deck does not come with a deck gun. I can add one on later on my own, but I was really hoping I'd have one sooner.

mope

Posted by Monty at 1:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, health update.

Jaw is still groovy.
Knee is getting worse.

I'm getting a contrast MRI done on it next week. We're heading down the path to surgery again. At least I'm better insured this time. Last MRI... $525 out of my pocket. This time, free. What a diiference a year makes. I think I'll make it an annual event to have knee surgery.

Posted by Monty at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hey, it's April... why am I getting Winter Weather Advisories in my e-mail?

Earlier this week it was a balmy 75 degrees. Tomorrow, 2 inches of snow.

It's global warming. It's el Nino. It's al queda. It's John Stamos.

At least the dogs will be happy. The loves them some snow.

Posted by Monty at 3:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've long desired a new television channel that didn't make me ol' butt pucker. I don't like the reality television. I don't like the Idolotry of America. I don't like anything with Regis Philbin. He's just creepy... like uncle Bad Touch.

My DirecTV satelite company of wonderment has added a new channel. Not the promised HD channels that I've been waiting a year for, but this one's good enough. It's the Chiller channel. It's about all things spooky. The movies they show are edited and mostly cruddy. They've also got some films in their line up that confuse me... like Transylvania 6-5000. OK, yes there's a wolfman and a vampire... but it's Geena Davis. The stars are Jeff Goldblum and Ed Beagley Jr. OK, that's scary. Nevermind.

I like the channel for the fact that it rehashes all the old creepy television shows like Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales From the Crypt, Darkroom, etc. Those shows were awesome. Sadly, they also have Freddy's Nightmares and Friday the 13th the Series.

There sure was a lot of big hair going on back then.

That's scary in and of itself.

Posted by Monty at 2:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)