Drink Rum

I used to have the mindset that anything that you can eat, you can grill... provided you have the right accessory. Grilled corn, veggies, scrimps, fish, you name it... I'll grill it.

Except vegetarian bacon.

I've cooked a veggie burger and veggie hotdog before... and aside from being tacky there wasn't any problem.

Veggie bacon... completely different beast.

I set out the food I wanted, where I wanted on the grill so it would all be done about the same time. I was just guessing on what to do with the facon. I guessed wrong.

After about 5 minutes, I came out to flip my burger and lifted the grill cover to discover that the facon was on fire. Not like a normal grill/grease fire... it was more like a toxic waste fire with acrid smoke and bubbling. I let loose a few choice words and attempted to put out the fire. No dice. So I just let it burn itself out.

It left a creepy oily residue all over the grill area where it was... like an oil slick. I spent 30 minutes cleaning it, but there's still some oogy left there. At some point I'll pull the grates and give them a stern washing, but for now I'm just going to avoid that section of the grill.

And of course the moral of the story... don't be a vegetarian.