Drink Rum

I'm out of sorts today. I actually got some sleep last night... it was that kinda coma sleep though, where you lay down, blink, and then it's morning and you've somehow merged into the mattress. I forgot to set my alarm last night and woke up late... thanks mainly to a dog wrestling match on my back. (I lost... so that's now Dogs: 23, Monty: 02).

I usually don't have much time in the mornings to do anything. I'm usually out of bed, into the bathroom, dressed and off to work. I decided to read some e-mail today and then play with the dogs and the more e-mail. Then I remembered that I had a presentation today and I should probably attend it. I got to work fine, but my brain was elsewhere (shocking!) so I was late for my own presentation. I didn't know a VP was going to be attending so that didn't go well. Luckily the presentation itself went fine. I think (hope) that I'm done with presentations for a while. They don't bother me much, but after doing the same one several times I'm ready to move on.

I was thirsty and wanted some water but didn't have a bottle handy. I usually drink some Gatoraid from home in the AM and just refill the bottle with water, but I'd botched it and forgotten to bring one in. So I went to the vending machine to buy a bottle of water.

I had forgotten that they raised the prices on beverages. They went from $1 to $1.10. I didn't have any change so I put in $2 and cursed the inflation gods for their perpetual interference in my life. I hit the Deer Park button and out burped my water. The change from my $2 also started to burp out. It decided to give me $.90 in nickles and dimes. And somebody torqued up the dispensor because that puppy was firing coins all over the place. I thought it was done and I reached down to get my chump change and it started firing coins again. And I caught one in the eye.

That hurt.

Not in a pain, law suit sort of way but in a "hey, that was dumb" sorta way. I grabbed my dime, wiped the blood off it, and shook my fist at the machine.

Also... Deer Park. Not where I want my water from. I'd like my water from "No Animals Pooed or Peed in Your Water Park". I'm looking at this label as I type and there's a deer or moose on the label that's just saying to me, "Me chinese, me play joke, me put pee pee in the stream that filled your water bottle because that's what deer do." I know it doesn't rhyme, but it's a deer so you should just be impressed that it can form thoughts like that.

Stupid deer.

I'm going to go find a bow hunter and get a hit contract put out on the incontinent deer.