Drink Rum

Upon my return home this weekend, I had a lovely form letter in my mailbox.

It was from the Office of Personnel Management. It said that I had been considered for the vacancy I applied for but that the position opening had been canceled. This, of course. is code for "the job was given to a political appointee".

The job in question was for the government management position for the White House internet operations. It's the job I've been trying unsuccessfully to get for almost 6 years. This was my third and final, failed attempt to do so.

I got a call last week from the program manager on the contractor side of the White House wanting me to come back and take up my old job where I left off. I haven't called him back. I don't know if I will.

Actually, if I call him, it'll only be to tell him no.

My career at the White House and any further desire to work there is over. I had six very good years there. I believe my thoughts and ideas were put to good use and my team and I built something amazing. The year after that was the begining of the end. Ideas weren't what people were looking for, it became a "yes man" only environment. My final two years were a nightmare. I was under more stress than any one person should deal with and the job I was doing made me sick to my stomach. I only stayed as long as I did because I was hoping to move into the government spot that I was denied.

It's a bit sad to have strived for a goal, or in this case a position, and fail. Whether or not that is better off for me in the long run is a good question, but it was my goal and I certainly missed it. Where I am now, I have no goals. Neither does the organization though. I guess I need to figure out what I really want to do I suppose.

I keep coming back to the thought that I peaked professionally at 30. Since then I've just been drifting and not accomplishing anything.

I'm once again giving serious thought to selling all of my assets and buying a boat and becoming a caribbean boat tour guide type person.

or a pirate.