Drink Rum

So this weekend... I spent the majority of the awake portions in Baltimore, Maryland. Or as I like to call it, Craptown USA. I made a comment as I saw the city from a distance... "Baltimore wouldn't be so bad if they'd just disinfect it and get rid of all the people."

It's true.

Baltimore smells like old butt and dead vermin.

But I digress.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I had the pleasure of watching the Baltimore Dirty Birds get trounced by the New York Yankees. Fortunately, I am a recently converted Yankees fan so the experience was pleasing.

The last time I went to a game a few months ago, I had no idea what was going on. There were people on a field. A round white dot got smacked around by a dude with a stick. Seemed like a lot of hooey to me.

Now, I'm a baseball fan and can pretend to know what's going on well enough to handle myself in smack talking. There's a magic banter that baseball people seem to like. I'm pretty good at smack talk whether I know what I'm talking about though... here's an example:

Monty several months ago

Baltimoron: Hey your Yankees suck!
Monty: Your father molests poodles.

Monty this weekend

Baltimoron: Yankees fans are the most ignorant people in baseball!
Monty: Isn't your team in last place?

Anyway.

So now I'm all into the game... but I'm extremely pleased that football season is a mere week and half away. Pinstripes and snazzy caps are all well and good, but it's time to don the burgundy and gold.

In getting in and out of Zeus' Butthole (a charming, jaundice-inducing section Blahtimore) I had a fair amount of time to read annoying people's bumper stickers. I've decided I'm going to create my own and sell them. My first bumper sticker will simply say: "My Stupid Opinion". I'm also working on a better version of the Jesus of the Trunk fish that I see all the time. Mine would have the little jesus fish, but sneaking up behind it, preparing to swallow it would be a big shark with the word "truth" inside it.

The moral of the story (there was a story?) is... Baltimore is still gross, bumper stickers are stupid- so own that, there's always a bigger fish, and truth trumps the trunk trinkets.

Posted by Monty at 11:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

OK, I really didn't fly in from anywhere, but boy am I tired.

I realized it sure has been some time since I took a vacation. I mean like more than a couple of days here or there.

My normal vacation time period for the year has come and gone. I used to take an annual trip to the beach and that was always a nice time. Just a week of decompression. Last one of those I think was three years ago.

I've used up all my leave at the credit union doing knee surgeries. I changed jobs this year and don't have the leave time accrued. In theory, I have more leave time ability with the new job, but I've got a major roll out coming in about 5 weeks and so taking a week is pretty verbotten. Although... my boss just took a week off... so that doesn't sit well with me.

Anyway... I get 3 accrued weeks of vacation a year and I have (already) 5 personal use or lose days to use by the end of the year. And I've got sick leave too.

So... in theory... I'll have options for a vacation in the late fall.

Maybe I'll take a week in the islands or something. I just get the urge snooze on a beach somewhere with a frilly rum beverage.

This has been kind of a bleh post... I'll get back into posting again and hopefully it'll be more up-beat.

Happy 21st birthday Sir Charlie. Congratz on learning about whisky "neat" and enduring the prairy fire.

Posted by Monty at 11:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)