Oh Holyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Craaaaaaaaap (think Holy Night)
Hey man... I have a blog... I should use it more often.
Anyone still read this?
I'm going to write very important things here in the near future. You're not going to want to miss it! Seriously! It's the kinda stuff that they put into Christmas Miracle movies on ABC. It'll be great. Bronson Pinchot can play me and Jean Stapleton can play the evil Mrs Crabtree over on Elm Street. Not to spoil it for you... but Freddie gets her.
Do you people have plans for the holidays? If not, can I come over? Seriously!
I'm going to close this post with a special tribute to the Chicago Fire.
Chicago guy #1: Is the building on fire?
Chicago guy #2: Seems to be.
Chicago guy #3: I think someone's idiot cow knocked over a latern.
Chicago guy #1: How can you tell from the building being on fire?
Chicago guy #2: Yeah!
Chicago guy #3: Because I'm really Jesus!!! (beems triumphantly)
Chicago guy #2: Hail Jesus!
Chicago guy #1: Aren't you jewish guy #2?
Chicago guy #3: Well I've had enough fire watching with you two for one day... I've got to go give these presents out to kids before my fat, drunkard brother Kringle wakes up and tries to do it again. Last time he did it wrong and ended up giving Rudolph a bloody nose.
Chicago guy #2: Hail Kringle!
Chicago guy #3: Jesus out!
Chicago guy #1: Maybe we should get out of this burning building.
Chicago guy #2: Yeah, oh too late we're dead. Hey but at least we met jesus and found out the true story of christmas.
Chicago guy #1: You know that was just Larry from accounting right?
Chicago guy #2: Crap. Ugh. (death)
Chicago guy #1: Merry Chr.... (death)
[The End]