Drink Rum

Holy crap am I sleepy!

I mean... sleeeeeeeee-peeeeeee!

Sunday into Monday I got 2 whole hours of sleep. And Monday was a long day at work.
Monday into Tuesday I did a bit better with a pair of 30 minute naps, a 90 minute nap, and 4 hours of real sleep.

Waking up at 6:30am is hard. Whoever invented early wake up should be shot.

So at my new job... I'm grinding my knee pretty hard. The metro stops I take and the train basically require me to go up and then down 4 flights of stairs each way. Stairs are the hardest part of my recovery. Especially down. By the time I'm on the train, my knee is throbbing and weak.

Did I also mention that I'm sleepy?

I work in Chinatown now. I'm the only white guy for blocks. I want to go try some of the food around here, but it scares me. Mainly because there are no easy to know words on the menu like General Tso's Chicken or Sweet and Sour Pork. No... all I see is this #&*()^ next to duck hanging in a window. I don't want to eat a duck. Especially window duck.

There are three Irish pubs in Chinatown that I know of. That seems wrong to me. I feel there should be opium dens instead. That's just me though.

Did I mention that I'm tired?

Posted by Monty at 8:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

103

That's the magic number so far.

That's how far I can bend my leg at the knee. It's been a tough, tough effort to get that far. Weeks of physical therapy. Ouchie.

I hit a plateau about 10 days ago. Just couldn't bend it anymore.

One acupuncture appointment later... I get a 12 degree growth in my range of motion.

Prior to participating in acupuncture... I though it was a bunch of crap. Mind of matter sort of bull crap.

But it works.

For me it has aided with healing and recovery, helped with colds, even getting through the fun of opiate abandonment.

It works.

I'm sorta understanding the concepts behind it... but really... it doesn't matter. The person who stabs me with needles understands it and makes it work for me, so... that's good enough.

Acupuncture people don't find Pinhead from Hellraiser as awesome as I do though.

And if a Texan and a Frenchie had a baby... I would be mad that the plethora of birth control choices out there had failed society as a whole. Good god think of the horror. A swarthy, smelly thing with a big hat, boots, belt that was equal parts ignorance, arrogance, and dirt.

Bon jour, ever'body!

Posted by Monty at 3:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So the results are in...

After a week of physical therapy, I can bend my leg 70 degrees. I can bend it about 45 degrees without any concern, but up to 70 isn't fun... but I can get it there.

I had a follow up with the good doctor. To make a long story short. Everything is moving along well. The bad news:

1-I have a dead spot on the top of my knee, to the right of the incision. Nerves were cut during the operation and will never grow back. I plan to leverage this into a new series of party tricks that include putting a cigarette out on my knee for money. I seriously can't feel part of my knee and apparently never will.

2-It's going to be a full year before I'm back to 100% strength in that leg. I'm still not allowed to do strength exercises yet. Mobility of the joint only.

3-I'm not allowed to walk without the immobilizer without the brace for another month. That sucks because I was walking without it yesterday and thought I was going to be braceless... but apparently my quad is so weak that I'm risking the leg just giving out and doubling up... which would be bad.

It still hurts from PT yesterday.

I'm still feeling in a funk... even moreso since the last post unfortunately. I'd love for there to be some improvement but I don't see it coming anytime soon. There are too many things weighing on my mind that either I can't control or are building up because of my total inactivity.

Bleh.

Perhaps something upbeat next time.

Posted by Monty at 2:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, it's been a week since my surgery.

I'm still in pain. Not end of the world pain, but persistent discomfort.
I've finally found the holy grail though... a way to sleep a full 8 hours. It's amazing what that does for me. So I'm feeling better rested. The meds I have are wonderful at keeping the pain down. So all is not lost.

As I mentioned in my very brief post after surgery, they did not break my leg. I had a bit of a surprise when I took off some bandages and discovered that even though they didn't break my leg, they did do something on my knee that required it to be openned up. There's a six inch gash running down the center of my knee that's held together with 15 metal clips/staples. I'm not sure about that. I have an appointment tomorrow to go over the operation with the doctor. I'm curious... because if he didn't do the osteotomy (leg break) it was all going to be done arthroscopically. Something was done that needed access to the whole knee. I wonder what it was.

Also... my entire leg, from thigh to ankle is swollen... I have one Hillary Clinton leg (the swollen one).

If people really want to see what it looks like, comment and I'll post a couple of pictures in a secret place.

Posted by Monty at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well folks, the surgery is over.

The short version is that they did not break my leg. It went well. My knee hurts like hell at the moment. I'm keeping it somewhat under control with the power of percocet.

I'll post more later, but for now know that I am at home and resting and things went well.

Thanks very much for the well wishes and the calls. I'm sorry I didn't talk to anyone today... I was just a bit too uncomfortable to chat. I do appreciate the calls, e-mails, and text messages.

Goodnight for now.

Posted by Monty at 1:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm 2 hours and 13 minutes away from surgery.

I'm leaving for the hospital now.

I appreciate everyone's well-wishes.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I won't forget to breathe.

Posted by Monty at 9:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, it's not a news flash that my sleep activity has been a bit of a problem for me over the past year or so. Usually, I'm on the lesser side of the sleep equation. Lately, I've flipped to the greater side and that seems to be even worse.

Last night... I slept 17 hours. That's like a baby coma. I woke up several times during that time and felt exhausted the entire time. I've been finding myself getting 7-8 hours of sleep lately but wake up feeling exhausted. It's not a sleep apnea thing... but it's like the sleep I get is useless.... it's like teasing my body.

It's quite likely that I'll end up avoiding sleep for fear that I might feel worse than if I didn't or oversleep and miss something.

Sigh.

Anyway... Eva (my girl dog) is having sleep issues too. She's taken to barking in her sleep. It's not a loud bark, it's kinda cute. But it wakes her up and she looks around like, "who's barking while I'm trying to sleep?" Then she lays her head down and does it again.

In the meantime... surgery looms... 21 days, 15 hours, 40 minutes.

There is certainly a level of anxiety growing there. I can only guess, but I imagine that will grow as that cut date approaches. I'm very thankful that a good friend will be helping me get through the tough days immediately prior to the surgery.

Posted by Monty at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed or at least survived the holidays.

I've been away from the computer here a bit over the past few weeks so I apologize for that. One of the major distractions going on is the return of the old knee issue. About a month ago, my knee started hurting... more than usual. This was probably also due to the termination of Operation Vicodin. A few weeks ago I went to a new orthopedic surgeon and asked him to give me once over and find out what all the hub bub was.

The verdict... I need (or would definitely benefit from) a patellar realignment. My knee cap is still out of place. It's drifting on the outside of the area it should be... basically waiting to dislocate again. It's also grinding and compressing cartledge. That's the ouchie. Oh... and an x-ray showed that there's a bone spur sticking out of the side of my knee cap.

The patellar realignment is not a dainty process.

I'm not really going to go into the details, but it involves two processes. One is to severe a ligament that is pulling the knee cap to the outside. This would let it move to the center and remove the possibility of dislocations in the future (awesome). This is done arthroscopically. The second phase involves lessening the tension on the knee cap by shortening the length of the tendon that runs over it and connects to the shin bone. This is accomplished by sawing the contact point area of the shin bone and moving it to another spot and screwing the new bone in place.

It'd be at least 4 weeks before I'd be off crutches. Rehab... likely 6 months or longer.

The good news is that the procedure has the amazing benefit of solving the problems that are plaguing me. It's just going to be a major suck-fest to get there.

More to follow on this.

Posted by Monty at 6:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, I mentioned a bit ago that I got a sinus infection while in Las Vegas several weeks ago and when I flew back, my ears got jammed up and almost exploded when I landed.

I went to the ER then and the gave me antibiotics and sent me on my way. I was told to follow up with my primary careless physician in a week if it got worse.

Well it got worse. It's been getting worse steadily over the past few days.

This morning I had an appointment with an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. I told him my story and he did a much more um... pokey exam on me. There is not a hole in my head that has not been explored today.

Long story short... because I'm tired and suddenly don't have interest in this at the moment.

My ear drums suffered angry trama when they very rapidly decompressed during the flight. My left ear drum is distended and stretched. It will go back. But it is extremely sensitive to anything right now. Right is also out of place but not as severe. I also appear to have scars all over my ear drums. (Not a rock, ER dr. Dimbulb) The good news is that the fluid that was in there a few weeks ago is gone. Yay. Also means no infection. Also yay. I thought.

Until he says something like, "I wish it just was an ear infection... that would be much easier to treat." Great. Leave it to me to make things complicated.

After poking and contorting... it was determined that I have somehow caused myself jaw trama on the left side. He summized that the ear pain was severe enough that my left jaw muscles were tensed for days on end trying to brace the ear from the inside and stop the ouch. He also thought I could have dislocated my jaw and relocated in my sleep.

So... the diagnosis is that I have beaten up ear drums (no treatment, just hang on), my eustachian tubes are still plugged (which caused all the ear drum crap in the first place), and I've got a very long worded term for what amounts to "oh crap my ear hurts let me tense up my jaw at the joint until it pops out" disorder (i know it ended with that).

So... he gave me a crazy steroid regime to take. I take some adrenal gland things that make my body produce cortisone to deal with the jaw. I have another wonderful steroid that I have to administer up my nose and into the sinuses. It's as fun as it sounds. That's designed to get the eustachian tubes open.

The theory is that if the tubes open, everything gets better. If they don't open, the air in my middle ear will continue to get thinner, continue to create a stronger vacuum against my ear drum until it ruptures. Or fluid shows up again and I get an anti-biotic resistant infection (thanks again for all those unneeded anti-biotics guys...)

Short term, he was candid that I shouldn't expect to see anything change. If by six/seven days from now nothing's changed... we start with something else.

Interestingly enough, the doctor actually endorsed my idea that I had at the airport of blowing out my own ear drums to stop the pain. Apparently it would have hurt like mad for a bit but then gotten all better in a few days.

Next time... I'm blowing out the ears. Actually... I still may if this keeps up.

Sheesh.

Posted by Monty at 7:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So... in the last installment, I was on my way to see the rehab people.

That was done this morning. To make a two hour (fine, 90 minutes) evaluation short, I was once again pronounced cured.

The rehab folks basically determined that I didn't need to be boarded in the hospital because the worst was over. The symptoms would wane and could now be dealt with over the counter stuff. They still thought it was a good idea to enroll me in the Day Program... which is the same as the 24/7 version except that it's from 9-4:30 every day. They asked me how many days I wanted to go and I shrugged. Until I stop farting fire? I thought that was a legit measure of success, but the nurses were serious. Addiction is a serious matter. Very serious. No joking in rehab. Stern. Straight. I giggled. Whoops.

It only took me 90 minutes to get to the hospital. I was hoping more people would have taken time off for holidays or something... but no... they all showed up on the highways to mock my unhappy digestive system. I swear to Pepto someone on this planet has a voodoo doll of me and is pushing pins in my stomach and a zippo under my butt. Yowza. Not cool, voodoo person. Pray I don't find you... my revenge will be swift and brutal... probably involving a trident.

So, what was I on about? Oh, yeah... so they say I'm eligible for the day plan. So they take me upstairs where they keep all the addicts in storage. Here I was told that I'd probably see the doctor some time during the day, but certainly tomorrow. In the meantime, I was to get ready for some sort of group meeting. I asked the nurse if I could go to my car and get my laptop. You'd have thought I asked her if I could set a midget on fire. (By the way... that'd be funny.... stop drop and roll, frodo!) Apparently, laptops are verboten. Hmmm. The web site made it seem like I was gonna have some down time. Apparently not. I was scheduled for a full day of group meetings, group meals, group hugs, group arts and crafts, group show and tell, group potty breaks, etc. This didn't look good to me.

I went into the program hoping to help cope with the physical issues... especially when they were really really bad... last week. Now, they want me to hang out with strangers and tell them stories or something and make a paper mobile of things I can't smoke. Or something.

If I had to spend all day in a bunch of group meetings with people I didn't know... one of a few things was going to happen.

1 - I was going to get bored and fall asleep
2 - I was going to get bored and grouchy and mentally wrestle with the therapy staff
3 - I was going to get bored and make up exciting stories about myself to amuse everyone (Like that I used to buy my pills from an old gypsy woman who made them from dragon bones and nutmeg. If you took three at once, you had the power to get dizzy and tired quickly.

Option 3 sounded kinda fun. I could make stories of adventure. The Dread Pirate Monty taking to the high seas to hijack Spanish treasure fleets loaded with pills and adult entertainment software. Monty the Crusader... who had his leg blown off in Bagdad but had it reattached by a kind Kurdish boy named Nidociv. It wasn't until I saw where he signed my cast in a mirror that I saw that Nidociv was really Vicodin backwards! Holy crap, that's when Nicholson comes at me with an axe and is like Here's Jack Nicholson! And say no. Because that's what Nancy Reagan would do.

Then I look into a big room where there is a circle of about 20 chairs and see many of the people I'd be camped out with. These were people with real problems. You could just look in there and see it in there faces. A couple were surprisingly young. A couple were surprisingly old. All of them looked very sad. I didn't look like that. Nor did I want to. I decided that the people in there probably needed help and support in that type of environment. I didn't. And I didn't want to detract from their experience/healing by goofing off. I asked the nurse to unadmit me. I went to work.

One of the questions that the nurse asked me was if I felt supported. I said, yep. Actually, I said yes, this corset is doing wonders for me. Sigh.

And I do.

So a big thanks to those that have expressed their support here, via e-mail, in person, or in the middle of the night when I just needed someone to laugh at a bad joke (or just go hmmm).

Really.

I saw what it could have been like otherwise. It didn't look good.

and smelled a bit like an old bus that was used for one too many high school field trips.

I'll start with Las Vegas related postings tomorrow.

Posted by Monty at 5:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hello there people.

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. And it's not for a lack of strong material either. I have a story about almost knocking down Jennifer Lopez. I have a story about the power of hooting at a craps table. And I have a story about pulling Joseph Stalin's finger.

Instead, I will tell the story of where I have been for almost the past two weeks.

Two weeks ago I was sent to a conference in Las Vegas by my employers. That is always a good time. This time was no exception.

Prior to leaving I noticed that I would end up running out of Vicodin while in Las Vegas... having taken the stuff daily for two years, I didn't really want that to happen. So I called my dealer... er doctor... and requested a refill. As I had done almost monthly for quite some time. I called on a Wednesday morning before my Sunday flight. It's not unusual for my doctor to take a couple of days to get my prescriptions filled. He's a surgeon and is out of the office 2-3 days a week cutting people. So friday, I called to check the status. The receptionist told me that because it was a narcotic, I'd need to come in for an office visit. I said, "Really? Can I come in now, because I'm getting on a plane in two days and will be gone for over a week?" She said no, but he could see me a week and a half after I got back. I asked her to make sure that my doctor understood that that situation would put me without pain meds for two weeks. She said he was aware and that if an issue came up to just go to the ER. I then asked her why no one had bothered to call me with this little tidbit a couple of days ago when I could have actually come into the office. She said that they'd been busy. Oh, that's great. Busy.

I hung up.

Through a bit of luck and the kindness of a friend, I was given a stay of execution (as it were). I was given a shiney happy bottle of 30 percocets. That would last me the week I needed to get back from the Las Vegas trip. Opiates in hand, I flew off to Las Vegas and had a wonderful time. Until I got sick. Sinus infection, fever, sore throat, double ear infections. Upon landing, my ears didn't clear when we came home. They're still jammed up with middle ear unhappiness. I haven't had a chance to get that looked at yet. A higher priority came up.

Upon getting home, there was a voicemail left for me from my doctor's office. They wanted to reschedule my appointment to late december. Basically, put off my ability to get pain relief for 6 weeks. I called them. I told them to tell Dr. Rosenpenis that he was fired. I told him that his inability to provide a simple service was no longer tolerable. I asked that my records be boxed up and that I be allowed to pick them up. They babbled. I said, nay, nay! Ship has sailed. I'm gone.

I fired my doctor.

I also fired my dealer.

Five days ago, I took my last opiate.

Knowing at the time that I'd reached the end of supply. I decided to check into a rehab facility. But I was denied. Within 50 miles of me, there is only one opiate detox facility. There are 15 alcohol detox facilities, and one for opiates. By the time I finished calling every medical facility in the area and getting, "no we don't do detox, but we can give you a support group" I finally found a place that did do detox. When I talked to them, they agreed that it would behoove me to come in and likely do inpatient detoxification. Two years of opiates can do a real mess to you physically and mentally. The nice lady I talked to then informed me that they had no room at the moment. Also, she told me that many insurance don't cover opiate detox. Alcohol yes, but not opiates. Lovely. But since they had no room, it was a moot point.

That was five days ago.

This morning they finally called back and pronounced me cured.

There are no opiates in my system. All gone. It takes about 4 days to get completely detoxed and I was past that point. Withdrawl effects can still be present up to several months (and are still very much present in me). But, with the opiates gone... everyday is going to get easier to tolerate as my brain begins to produce it's own happy juices instead of relying on the pill form.

I have an appointment to go see the rehab folks tomorrow morning. They want to run some tests and see what can be done to make the withdrawl symptoms as tolerable as possible. I'm down with that.

For those who don't know opiate withdrawl isn't like you see on TV or in a movie.

My eyes never got red and puffy. I never sat on the couch shivering or clawing at my skin. Nothing that dramatic. No.

My withdrawl started with perpetual lower digestive issues. Then upper. I spent most of my waking hours in the bathroom. Interestingly enough, because the issue is based on chemicals in the brain, there's nothing you can physically do to stop those symptoms. Pepto, Ammodium, all of those... they work on the physical effects in the system. My brain was all jacked up and didn't care what the actual conditions were. It was a very strange feeling to be completely nauseated and hungry at the same time. And have to eat... feeling like every bite was going to come right back out. It never did though. Just felt like that.

Sleep left me next. The first 72 hours I managed 5 hours of total sleep. Insomnia is expected to last me a fairly long time due to the length of my usage.

Then came the headaches. Not normal ones. My brain actually hurts. It's made worse by the sinus infection. Tylenol has no effect.

Sweating has been non-stop. To the point that frequent clothing changes are required.

My nose began running 4 days ago and hasn't stopped. The sinus love that.

Then came the strangest one. I got ADD. I think. I have no idea what ADD is like, but I'm guessing it was like I was experiencing. My brain/thoughts were moving at the speed of light. I felt like I was overdosing on speed. I couldn't focus on anything. Trying to make dinner took hours because I was constantly doing 25 things at once. It was really, really crazy. Here's an example of a snapshot of that:

Brain thoughts-

I'm hungry
I should make dinner
I need to go to the bathroom first
I should start cooking first then go to the bathroom
I wonder what's on TV to watch with dinner
I better look first
Maybe I should wait
Or I could watch a movie
What do I feel like watching?
What do I want to eat?
Maybe I should order a pizza so I don't have to cook?
I should go to the bathroom first
Are the dishes clean?
They are but where's my favorite black bowl.
Oh it's in the sink
Well I can't have pasta if that bowl's dirty.
What's on TV in the background?
I should watch Judge Judy.
Or Judge Alex.
Let me see how many of each I have Tivoed
Well there are more Alexs than Judys so I'll watch Alex to make them even.
But Judge is funnier.
Ok I'll watch Judge Judy.
Unless there's something on HBO.
Let me look.
I need to go to the bathroom first.
I'll start the water boiling for the pasta and then go to the bathroom.
Where's my black bowl?
Oh it's still in the sink.
I guess I'll wash it
Then boil water
Then go to the bathroom
do I have any pasta in the house?
I have five kinds
do i have sauce?
oh good, I do.
what time is it?
I haven't feed the dogs, no wonder they're mad.
I'll feed them first
so they'll be happy
maybe i'll give them a special treat because they've been patient
what kind of treat should I give them?
i should go to the bathroom first

(it took two hours to make dinner that night)

I actually stood in the center of my living room with my eyes as wide as could be because I was paralyzed with the inability to follow a single thought for more than a second.

So now we're here.

My brain still hurts. My lower digestive unpleasantness is still present. My nose is still running, but much less. The infections in my head are raging. I can't sleep.

But my sense of humor has returned. There was a period of about 30 hours where I couldn't find anything funny. That was horrible.

I'm sure I've got several more days of unfunness left.

I cancelled Thanksgiving because I don't think I have it in me to host 30+ people yet. I'll probably spend the day on the couch eating a sandwich and watching House MD (he's still my hero). It somehow seems fitting to mark the two year anniversary of the accident that started this all (on thanksgiving day 2005) in a more quiet environment than a large fiesta would allow. I won't get the chance to make a fried turkey this year. Or garlic smashed potatoes. Or jalapeno cornbread. But I will just work on feeling better. One day at a time.

I can't believe I said that... now I've got the stupid theme song from that sitcom stuck in my head. Whatever happened to Schneider anyway? Was that guy's name Pat Harrington? If it is, I'll be impressed and depressed that I knew that.

If I don't post again before Thursday, happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone you feel thankful for.

Posted by Monty at 5:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So... if you read yesterday's post, you know that it wasn't fun day.

To that you can also added a multi-tractor trailer pile up on the interstate that closed it for an hour. I just wanted to go home. But no... god decided that it was better to smash two trucks together. (Imagine, if you will, the mental picture of a five year old kneeling on the floor with a toy truck in each hand and ramming them together in front of himself while shouting, "vrooom, vrooom". That's what god was doing. Or was it?

It wasn't a positive thing for anyone (except maybe the tow truck drivers). It seems if anything goes right in the world... someone gives god credit. If a kid survives a horrible house fire, people thank god. If the same kid were to have burnt up (crackle, crackle, crackle). Would be have been angry at god? Maybe, but probably not.

If there's a god, I don't think he's got the time, energy, or interest to... well... play god in the billions of people on the planet (or trillions if you believe that there's aliens out there). Well, no wait... god has plenty of time. I imagine if you have an eternal lifespan, you've probably got nothing to do. How many times can you make you kid's face appear on toast before it gets old? I think he's got energy two... he built the whole universe in a week, he set a bush on fire, he wrote on stone tablets with lightning for his sake. It takes energy to generate lightning... just ask Raiden.

So that just leaves interest. Why would god be interested in our little world?

Because it's entertaining.

Earth is god's favorite reality show ever,

He has his own version of Survivor... he calles it Survivor: The Middle East.

If you win... you get to play another game. If you lose... you get recycled.

I also think that god uses space shuttle rockets for lawn darts.

Where was my point? I dunno.

Some dude was talking to himself again in out mens room. It was pretty damn revolting.

Posted by Monty at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, great day with friends at the Maryland Rennaisance Festival.

Sunday, great day with medical staffers at the hospital.

I don't have the strength to type the long version... so here's the short.

Sunday, 8:30AM... wake up with an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

Over the next few hours I was hit with horrible and explosive badness. Basically, everything that was in me wanted out via any passage it could fine.

I realized that I was in a bad way and couldn't even keep water down. By this point, my stomach was more in pain and getting up made me dizzy and pained.

EMTs came and I was taken via ambulance to the hospital.

While there I was IVed and they took samples of everything I had. My blood's white blood cell count was at an "extremely elevated" level. They took me in for a CAT scan of my guts to see if something was wrong. The CAT was negative for bad stuff, but the blood cell count was bad as it's an indicator of something being wrong. But they couldn't find it and determined that I wasn't in a life threatening situation so they released me.

I'm taking pain pills for my gut, which still hurts, and my back and neck are sore.

I'll be out from work for a few more days. Hopefully feeling better soon too.

So groggy.

So... for now... it's gastroenteritis. Tomorrow I'll see a doctor and see where I am.

Good night

Posted by Monty at 3:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

October 13th will mark my triumphant return to paintball.

It'll be interesting to see how the knee holds up. I've been cleared and had a follow-up to be recleared to place (with brace). The issues that are on-going are repetitive motion-based vs. stress on the joint. In theory, the joint is stronger than it was before the injury from all the therapy. I'm going to have (hopefully) more troubles walking to and from the fields than actually playing the games.

So wish me luck everyone. It's been almost two years since I've been on a field. I need to get my gear in gear. Heh.

Posted by Monty at 6:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I won't waste time or internet space (there's a shortage you know) with the reasonings, but I'm working on getting vicodin out of my daily routine. Hopefully, the pain that put them in there in the first place won't be intolerable. We'll have to see.

I've already kicked all of the other assorted medications that everyone has seen fit to tell me I need. Vicodin's the last one. Sadly, the physical dependence won't make it easy. Oh well.

I'm hoping once that detox is through my insomnia will leave me. I've been dealing with that for so long, I don't know what I'd do with a normal adult's schedule. I've never had one before. We'll have to see.

I can think of many good reasons to rise and fall with the rest of the world. I can think of one good reason to continue my long nights.

Being that it's the 4th, I should probably post something about that... seperate post.

Posted by Monty at 12:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was fidgeting around with the guitar several times this weekend and came across a few problems.

1) I'm obsessed of late with numeric lists, apparently

2) I forgot how much of a pain breaking my fingers in would be. Oh muh middle finger is bitter.

3) I can't remember much of what I used to play.

4) My fingers are a problem when swollen... usually from dehydration. I could go into a standard A cleanly to save my life. To many fat fingers behind one fret.

So I decided it's time to get back on the old tread climber.

If you've ever seen this thing on TV, it looks deceptively simple. And in principle it is, but it's a serious workout. The initial sessions getting started have always been murder. I ran my first 30 min workout yesterday and got through it fairly well all things considered. It was easier than I'd expected. My cardio was a mess though... obviously this was needed for a few reasons.

The knee held up ok. The treadclimber is low impact (the commercial will tell you it's like walking in sand... it isn't. It's like walking up an escalator that goes a mile. I wore the brace despite feeling pretty strongly that my knee would be ok without it. The I remembered that that attitude is what landed me back in the ortho chair with an angry knee again.

So we'll see how it goes. Between the water uptake increase and 3x30min cardios a week I'll probably drop 15lbs by the end of the month. That's 105lbs of pressure off the right knee for every step I take... incentive. One of several.

New tubes for the amp arrive today. Happiness. Reverb goodness awaits.

Later this week, some more fun gadgets and playthings arrive. That's a surprise though... sssshhh!

Although one very important piece to that puzzle is backordered... which blows. Anyway... surprise will be unveiled here in a couple of weeks... hopefully.

Posted by Monty at 1:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm not supposed to play paintball anymore. The doctor mentioned it in my "lifestyle modification" lecture earlier in the week.

I don't know whether or not I'm going to listen to him.

I've never been terribly good at much in the way of physical activity. When I was younger I was a pretty decent football player. I used to be very good at golf. But other than that... I suck.

Except in paintball. Paintball is probably the only physical activity that I seemed to excel at. I think it had less to do with physical prowess and more to do with tactical thinking, but still... I was good at it.

Now... I'm supposed give it up.

On the one hand, I might save myself additional pain and suffering by not aggitating the knee. On the other hand, the knee's going to be grouchy anyway, I may as well enjoy it.

If I play it safe, I'll be bothered by the decision to give up. If I play paintball, I'll probably reinjure the knee and have no one to blame but myself.

This has been a week of "can't win" scenarios.

Posted by Monty at 3:29 PM | Permalink

Yesterday I spent 30 minutes in my orthopaedic surgeon's office listening to him use very long and complicated words to describe what was going on in my knee. He went over the MRI results and pointed to colored blobs and even used a 3D model at one point so I knew exactly what was going on. All the big words basically boiled down to one point though...

My knee is never going to get better.

The meniscus tear is healed. The bone bruise is gone. My MCL/ACLs are perfect. My quadrocep and tendon over the knee are strong and everything from the surgery has come out exactly as planned.

Except for the fact that me knee cap is eroding away.

The underside of my kneecap has been worn away of it's protective soft tissue. Some was removed in the initial injury, some during the surgery. Now... every step I take, the underside of that rough kneecap slides back and forth over the leg bones in the joint. It will continue that slow sawing motion until eventually the knee will start to break down from bone loss. Maybe in 10-15 years. Then I will have to have a full replacement.

For now... the joint is healthy and stable enough to use for most activites. It will continue to cause me pain in varying degrees forever though. I will now have to realistically research what type of damage I'm doing to my liver with all the vicodin I've taken and will be taking in the future. The opiate isn't the issue... it's the acetametaphin.

I wasn't ready to have a bad knee. That doesn't matter, because that's what I've got.

I think I should become a creative consultant on House.

Posted by Monty at 2:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got my ER bill from my field trip there a couple of weeks ago.

Just a hair under $3,000.

My insurance paid the whole thing, no co-pay or deductible either.

Later today I get the verdict on my knee. Good stuff.

Posted by Monty at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm not sure how to go about writing this up, so I'll try to do it chronologically. This all happened this passed Tuesday.

4:00AM
I woke up around four in the morning with some pain and pressure in my stomach and lower intestines. I laid in bed hoping it would pass, but it increased and I sprinted into the bathroom. I had horrible bowel movements. Horrible. Then I had to vomit. I barely hit the flusher on the toilet before I started vomitting violently. I felt horrible, but a bit better, so I tried to go back to sleep.

4:15AM
It all happens again.

5:00AM-6:45AM
I continue to have problems. I'm now just passing water from my bowels and dry-heaving. Very painful. I try to drink fluids, pepto, gatorade. They all bounce. After the last vomiting episode, I start to feel very cold and I decide I need to see a doctor. I can barely walk up the stairs. Dizziness. Kerie was up getting ready for work and she gasped when she saw me. I had no color in my skin and my lips had turned blue. We got in the car and drove to the hospital.

7:15AM
We arrive at the ER, Kerie goes to check me in. I go find a bathroom. When I come back Kerie's still filing out forms. I curl up on the floor because I can't stand anymore. The nurses move me into a triage room and take vitals. Blood pressure is low, but heart rate is high. My body temperature was 96.2. I begin vomitting bile. They move me to a new room.

7:30AM
I'm lying in the bed trying as hard as I can not to vomit anymore. It was to the point that the heaving was pulling muscles in my chest and back and causing spasms. An administrator comes in and asks me to sign some forms. I sign the first two forms, but the third one I can only manage a scribble. Kerie gets to use her power of attorney powers because I'm deemed unable to make any other decisions regarding my treatment. A doctor comes in and throws the administrator out. That made me happy. The doctor and I played 20 questions and he decided his first course of action was to get me rehydrated. They gave me a liter of saline plus a drug to stop me from vomitting. It also caused drowsiness.

I don't remember the rest of the times the rest of the story takes place, but here it is.

They wanted to get a urine sample so they could test it. After an hour on the IV saline, I could finally urinate. Urine tests came back normal. I hadn't thrown up since the IV started, but the nausea was there, as were the horrible bowel movements. I had to get up and walk to the restroom with Kerie carrying my IV bag.

I drained the first liter of saline and they gave me another liter of fluid. They also gave me more anti-nausea medication and a painkiller. I finally felt a bit better. The cramping pain passed.

I stayed there for another hour getting more fluids. I was able to drink some juice without vomitting so they were ready to release me.

The verdict was gastroenteritis. You can wikipedia that if you'd like.

They gave me an order for bedrest for the rest of the week and a prescription for the anti-vomitting drug.

I went home and slept for 12 hours.

I woke up with a horrible headache and pain in my chest and back. It felt like I'd pulled my diaphram muscle.

It's now about 30 hours later and I feel much better. I feel like I have the flu with headaches, chills, etc. I've been able to drink fluids and eat a banana. I attempted a bowl of soup last night, but quit after getting halfway through it.

Basically, I have to wait for the virus to run its course. But it's tolerable compared to the hell that was yesterday.

Posted by Monty at 1:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So at 7:00AM I went into the hospital for an MRI. It was pretty much the same deal as last year... except instead of doing three passes/scans on my knee, they did six. The last three passes/scans came after I was injected with some sort of rare heavy metal called gadolinium. I don't know if I spelled it right. Basically, it messes with magnetic fields in the body and makes stuff shiney or something.

I'm really draggin.

My head is pounding and my stomach is flipping.

The metal juice stays in the blood vessels and will highlight areas that have (or don't) blood flow. Also, internal bleeding will show too.

I have to go throw up. Excuse me.

I've got another six hours of this before my kidneys get rid of the junk.

Maybe this is how they made T-1000s in Terminator 2.

That'd be bad ass. I'd be a liquid metal dude... with a bum knee.

Posted by Monty at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, health update.

Jaw is still groovy.
Knee is getting worse.

I'm getting a contrast MRI done on it next week. We're heading down the path to surgery again. At least I'm better insured this time. Last MRI... $525 out of my pocket. This time, free. What a diiference a year makes. I think I'll make it an annual event to have knee surgery.

Posted by Monty at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So... shockingly... more medical drama in my life. This is mostly over I suppose, so that's good.

At the end of last year, I broke two adjacent teeth. One needed a root canal and crown, the other just a filling. I got that done with no real problems. I was then advised that I should get my lower wisdom teeth out. No problem either.

Lies.

The wisdom teeth came out fairly easily. On the scale of one to ten, the left one was a 2 and the right was a 6. Also, apparently I'm damn funny on nitrous oxide.

I ruined a part of jeans because in my drugged out haze, I tried to spit some blood out and basically just dribbled blood into my lap and down my leg. About 20 minutes later, the crimson tide was done and Percocet was taking me to a special place.

Fast forward 24 hrs. My entire left side of my face was in agony. From my chin to my ear. My lymph nodes were swollen, I had a fever, and I was popping narcotics like Pez. I went back to the dentist on day 3. Turns out that I had dry sockets. No blood clot ever formed where my toothy tooth was and instead I had a little bit of exposed bone and a large exposed nerve cluster at the bottom. Solution.... drugs... drugs... lots of drugs.

Fast forward to today, over a month from extraction... I'm almost healed. There is still a small patch of exposed root from the neighboring tooth that hasn't covered over yet. It only hurts when I drink now. As such, I passed out in a director's office during due to dehydration. I drink very little daily... often less than 36oz of total liquid consumption. Room temperature gatorade is the beverage of choice.

The exposed root should be healed over in 1 - 4 weeks.

sigh.

On a positive note, we made an offer to a dude to be my assistant, so it looks like I'll be able to take a breath at the job.

Posted by Monty at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I went to the pharmacy to pick up some more narcotics today and had a miserable experience happen to me.

Firstly, I'm now taking a record setting level of pain killers. I've got Vicodin, Vicodin ES, Vicoprophin, Percocet, and Oxycotin all in my medicine chest. Add to that a couple of anti-psychotics, 2 types of sleeping pills (Ambien CR and Lunesta), a muscle relaxer, and an antibiotic.

That's a lot of drugs.

So anyway... I got a couple of other items while I was waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. With my two bottles of gatorade, some pasta, and ice cream, I went to the first aisle, aka the express lane.

I'm very anal about the 15 items or less. I count everyone's items while I'm in line. The old lady in front of me had 59 items. Not hyperbole, I counted each one. It angered me. I was in great pain because I had to forego magic meds so I could drive to the pharmacy. So I was in a hurry and I have no patience to begin with. And then there's this lady with her 59 items in the 15 items or less line.

I was trying to figure out whether to yell at her or not. My jaw was in extreme pain and talking or yelling would have hurt more than helped. As the event played out, the register guy gave the woman a stern talking to. I was bitter, but after awhile I begin to pity the lady. She was clearly not all there and having great difficulty just buying groceries. She apologized to me about 30 times and even offered to pay for my groceries, but I told her not to worry about it.

I don't want to get old.

It'll be different in 30 or so years I imagine... when the options are old or death. Most of the folks in my family live very long lives if they don't kill themselves.

This was a very morbid post.

We might get some good snow next week. That'll be awesome. The dogs both love the snow. I do too.

Posted by Monty at 5:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

In an effort to get my physical life back together, I'm now in training for a 10k run.

The run is a charity event and I'm not actually planning on running it, but do plan to do it at a 3 or 4 mph brisk walk.

I've been doing cardio training for the past 8 months, but I need to work on multi-hour distance endurance.

Even if I don't get in good enough shape to do the 10k, it's a good goal to work towards.

The dogs think it's great too, although the puppy has been known to get tired after a mile or so and lay down to eat grass instead. Brisk walking while carrying a 35lb puppy is a hell of a work out in and of itself.

The run/walk/trot is In early April, so we'll see how it works out.

Posted by Monty at 10:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was at the grocery store yesterday... doing the normal Sunday grocery buying thing (along with the entire population of several states, apparently). I need to get a prescription filled. I've spent quite a bit of time getting my prescriptions filled at this place over the past year. There are only a handful of people that work in the pharmacy so I knew them all. I didn't really, but in the boredom of waiting in line, I named them all. There was Teddy, Oompah-Loompah, Big Mama, Grand Mama, Ho Chi Minh, and Barbie.

Barbie was a cute blond person in a blue lab coat who usually spent her days in the back mixing pills. I guess she's a pharmacist... or a helper... I don't know the blue coat vs. white coat hierarchy. Anyway, yesterday she was working the register because they were pretty busy. I walked up with my ticket number and credit card in hand.

"Nice shirt", she said... referring to my snazzy retro Pink Floyd shirt I had on. It was a beaten up, over-washed grey with a big pink pig in the center. "Where did you get it?"

I was wondering why Barbie was making small talk with me. She clearly lusted for me.

"I got it at Target" I said smoothly. (Target is where all the smooth shoppers shop.)

"Cool... my dad really loves Pink Floyd."

Somewhere in the distance I heard a weepy trumpet cueing an audience that it was time to laugh.

"Thanks."

I took my pills and headed home.

Tomorrow I'm going to go buy a hippity-hop shirt.

Posted by Monty at 2:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There's no FART today. I've not been paying much attention to the world around me this week so I don't know who's being silly and who isn't.

Today's post is basically a health status report.

Knee: Knee is about as good as it's going to get. That's good and bad. I can do just about anything I need to on a daily basis. Up until recently, walking required thought... watching my steps, making sure I wasn't limping, etc. I've gotten to the point where walking is natural. Stairs aren't natural. Going up and down steps is still tricky and still uncomfortable. I've got a snazzy knee brace that works a real treat though. For heavy load days I can strap that thing on and go crazy. It's very handy. I'm ready for paintball with that thing.

Brain: My brain is still broken. Insomnia is getting worse. I'm averaging less than 3 hours a night of sleep and those hours are only semi-restful. My brain just won't go to sleep. I'm tired as hell... just can't sleep. Ambien doesn't even knock me out. Doctors are baffled. We've been playing with a wide variety of medical cocktails to see if anything short of anesthesia will knock me out. So far, nothing has done it.

Weight: Down 20lbs. That made me happy. I've got another 20 or 30 to go. Moving in the right direction though.

Heart: Probably the biggest health improvement I've got. My cardio is rock solid. My blood pressure has dropped from 167/94 to 122/82 and my resting heart rate (aka pulse) is 84. That's pretty cool. My doc is thrilled with that. I did some tests where you basically spike your heart rate for 20 minutes and then see how long it takes for it to get back to normal... mine took 2 minutes to go back to the resting rate. 2-10 minutes is good, the faster the better, so my heart is bueno. Apparently, by accident, I've been during endurance training instead of aerobic training. Who knew? I have to slow down my exercise routine to burn more fat. Strange but true. According to science, there's this magic number (there's a real formula for it and everything) that is your target heart rate range for burning 85% fat calories during exercise. If you go under the number you don't do diddly... if you go over your body only burns around 25% fat calories, but starts putting out toxins and increasing muscle mass (if protein is around) and increases your cardio endurance (and heart size!). So, I've been doing 8 weeks of the endurance level stuff. Whoops. Now that I have a heart rate monitor and these handy formulas I can figure out exactly what I'm doing. Instead of doing all endurance level stuff, I'm going to do aerobic twice a week and endurance once or twice a week. Science!

Every pound of weight I lose is 7 pounds of pressure on my angry knee that I don't have to deal with every time I take a step. So I've basically taken 120lbs of pressure off the knee. Good thing.

I think if I could just get to sleep, I'd be solid.

Oh and sometime in the near future I'm going to start swimming again. The goal is still to get SCUBA certified by next summer. The 100 yard endurance test was what stopped me before. I'm going to take the classes and training locally in a pool and then go do the two final open water dives in the Caribbean.

Posted by Monty at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For those who like the running tab on my medical bills for my knee:

Insurance costs (out of pocket): $2,742
Co-pays and what insurance won't cover (out of pocket): $3,420
Total cash the injury has cost me: $6,162
Medical costs covered by my crap ass insurance: $3,969

Before you go, man that sucks... if I didn't have insurance... the entire 4 months of knee hell would have cost me a very reasonable $22,399.

Math whizzes will notice that heathcare costs twice as much if you don't have insurance.

Posted by Monty at 11:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So after six weeks of post-operative physical therapy, my therapist doctor is sending me back to the orthopedic surgeon. He's concerned that I still have significant pain in the knee and unresolved swelling.

There has been considerable progress... but he's concerned because my knee has not gotten any better over the past few visits and didn't respond to an electro-steroid treatment.

I talked to my doctor at the therapy clinic and the director of the clinic. My doctor wants to see if the surgeon will aspirate my knee... basically stick two very large needles into the center of me knee and under the knee cap a try to get some fluid out. Yay.

The director is concerned that I'm developing a big fancy condition from my bone bruise. I don't remember what it's called... it's three long latin words... but it basically means part of my leg bone is dying.

Great.

Basically, the bone bruise is full of broken blood vessels and parts of the tissue die. There are so many contingencies about what happens if that happens, but none of them are appealing or happy. An MRI will be done to see if the area of the bruise is dead and then a few months after another MRI will determine if the dead tissue is spreading.

The the conversation turned to procedures involving removing the knee cap and drilling the bones and putting the cap back, bone grafts, and other things that made me sick to my stomach.

There's nothing that I can do to prevent the bone deterioration or lessen the impact. It'll happen or not.

Anyway... it's way to early to guess at what else is going wrong in the knee... they're just getting me ready in case there are more issues. These guys are pretty good at diagnosing internal injuries though. The last time they sent my back to the ortho, they correctly guessed that I had a torn meniscus which required surgery. As with last time, they've suspended therapy until I talk to the surgeon.

I think it's probably 100% I'll have to have large needles shoved into my leg in the next couple of weeks. Probably 75% chance I'll have an MRI done on the bruise.

Depending on what's causing the persisting pain... I've either got more long, painful rehab ahead... maybe another arthroscopic procedure to get out scar tissue if that's causing a problem... or the worst case scenario... full reconstructive surgery with a bone graft.

Also, I've been asked a couple of time why I haven't had a cortezone shot in the knee yet. All my therapy relies on my ability to tell a therapist when it hurts. We work right on the edge of pain. With Vicodin, I can get my butt kicked in therapy and then pop pills to make it all go away. With cortezone I'd have a dead knee basically. And while I'd sleep at night and be able to stand for longer periods and generally be happier... I'd likely damage the joint in the process.

I'll be happy when this is all over...

My goal was to get back into paint ball shape this year, but I'm still not green lit to do aerobic activity yet and I've probably put on 15lbs since this all started. Paint ball is probably out this year... so my goal is to be ready for a pirate cruise next summer. That's over a year... plenty of time to recovery from just about anything.

Posted by Monty at 9:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

After the latest visit to the old orthopedic surgeon, it looks like I'm not going to be in paintball shape until August or September. The goal was for full recovery from the surgery by May, but there's still swelling and the doctor wants to take it slowly. One bad step... and I start over. Basically, this knee issue, by the time it's healed, will have been in recovery for almost a year.

I'm in the stage where I feel better than I am. My knee feels ok, most of the time these days. But by the end of a work day or after any amount of walking on sloped ground, my knee is hurting. I have to be very patient not to push myself and still be careful. It's easy to do that when every move you make hurts, but now that the pain is subsiding, I'm more likely to do something boneheaded. Like trip over the dog coming to bed in the dark. Boy did that hurt.

So I'm still getting better, just slower than hoped. I'm pretty ready for this chapter of my life to come to a close.

Posted by Monty at 9:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So after the surgery, my knee flexibility went backwards. I started at 89 degrees of flexibility. After two sessions, I'm up to 103.

It's a very, very painful 103 though... like so painful... it ran up my leg from my knee and punched me in the boo boo.

I said... whoa!

More PT later this week.

The job still rocks.

Posted by Monty at 6:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So yesterday I had a visit with my surgeon to go over my knee.

It was great to talk to him about the surgery sober.

I had a few things wrong in my initial postings about my knee.

Firstly... there were two tears in the meniscus... one was severe and the other moderate. The severe tear was removed and resculpted completely. He had before and after photos. The second tear was towards the back of the knee and was in a vascular area (meaning it could get blood) and was healing itself. The doctor left that alone. The meniscus area as a whole looks great. Yay!

He also removed a chunk of scar tissue... about the size of a thumb that was under my knee cap. That was causing the pressure feeling in my leg when I walked. It was jammed up under the knee cap and was right under the muscle in there. That's why I can't lock my knee to "stiff leg" limp... the muscle that holds the knee locked was operated on to get that lump out. Makes sense.

The bone bruise is pretty severe.

He said he was very surprised to see a bruise as bad as the one I have that was still bad after 3 months of healing. He said the impact to the bone was very serious and he was surprised that the bone didn't break completely. I was very lucky in that the surgery for repairing a broken knee is much more serious and has a longer recovery time. He's still concerned about the bone bruise and wants to keep an eye on it.

To give you an idea of what a bone bruise is... imagine you take a hit in the leg or whatever that for some reason is hard enough to break the tissue inside the bone without completely fracturing it. In the top of my leg bone, all the blood vessels are broken and there is swelling inside the bone.

The pain involved with a bone bruise is very similar to a break... the nerve damage is similar.

Essentially, the feeling I've had over the past 3 months has been like walking on a broken leg... without a cast.

The doctor felt sorry for me... he said that he never doubted the seriousness of the injury, but the appearance of that bruise was conclusive evidence of a severely traumatic injury.

Yay!

There's nothing that can be done to help the bruise... just have to wait until it heals on its own.

The prognosis is still very good.

I'll be doing six weeks of physical therapy and then should be done.

I'm going to play paint ball on my birthday... as a triumph over basically 16 weeks of hell.

Of course, I by then I'm pretty sure my Vicodin addiction will be in full swing, but I don't care at the moment. Fix the source of the pain first, then I'll deal with the pain killer issues.

Posted by Monty at 6:05 PM | Permalink

I want to be clear in any inference that Chris (the anesthesiologist) was a weak point in the customer service at the hospital. He was very quick with the pre-op questions, but clearly skilled. He also called me tonight to check on how I was doing and make sure I wasn't having any issues or if I had any additional questions... I thought that was rather nice.

Prince William County Hospital gets max kudos.

You can tell when you're dealing with people that really love their jobs, and everyone at the hospital, from the surgeon to the nice old guy that pushed me around in my wheel chair clearly loved what they were doing.

Posted by Monty at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So the night before the surgery was unnerving. I couldn’t really sleep and ended up surfing the internet until 2:30AM. My surgery was scheduled for 10:00AM and I had to be there by 8:30AM for prep.

When I woke up I wasn’t feeling so hot. A combination of nervous nausea and lack of sleep wasn’t agreeing with me at all. I also hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for almost 24 hours prior and my throat was dry as could be. I took a shower and we hit the road.

Arriving on time, my guts were increasingly angry. I was feeling some serious abdominal pressure, but couldn’t do anything to relieve it. We checked in with the outpatient surgery center and I traded in my sweat clothes for a sexy open back surgery shirt thing.

My guts were getting seriously angry and I mustered up the courage to walk over to the restroom in center… and mooned everyone. I dropped a quick deuce and that helped, but my guts still felt pyucky. I went back to my little stretcher area and watched TV for a few minutes. Nurse Vicky came by to set up my IV. She went in through the top of my hand, and popped a valve in the process. People that have nice veins on the surface are easy to stick and the valves in the blood vessels (that keep blood flowing in one direction) are easy to spot… they look like little round balls or bubbles in the vein. My veins aren’t like that. She hit the valve just under the skin and pushed right through it. I noticed a “pop” sensation as she did. It didn’t hurt more than usual and Vicky was good enough at her job to be able to push through the valve without having to restick me. My IV at that point was basically Gatorade. After a few minutes they added an antibiotic to the IV solution.

Since things were boring, they allowed my wife to come back and hang out with me. She was more nervous than I was. I had it easy since I’d be asleep the whole time… she had to wait around and fret. She’s tough though.

My surgeon came back and we chatted for a few minutes. He reconfirmed all the stuff we’d gone over. Then he signed my knee. I guess that’s procedure. A bit later an OR nurse came by to shave my knee area. I now have hairy thighs and calves, but a bald knee. Strange.

After that Chris, the anesthesiologist came by to go over his duties with me. I had the most questions for him since everything I’d read about on line was variable around the anesthesia parts. He went over his part very, very quickly and had me sign forms and was off after take a quick question. He was the only person I dealt with in my entire time with the hospital that seemed in a hurry or not willing to bend over backwards for me. He had a nurse with him that did stick around and talk with us more, and that was cool. Also, don’t think for a second that Chris wasn’t good at what he does. He was very skilled and his services were greatly appreciated. Greatly.

Then came the time. Time to go. The wife was sent to the waiting area and I was sent to the OR. I’d read that sometimes they give you a sedative before taking you into the OR to relax you… and if you ever have surgery, request one. I got pretty spooked in the OR… looking around, seeing various cutting tools and what not. There was a huge 60 inch plasma TV in there for use with the arthroscope’s TV camera. But I started getting nervous. My guts weren’t feeling well and I was scaring myself with bad internet stories. So I did what I do best… told a joke. I said,” If I wake up with breast implants, I’m going to be very mad at all of you.”

Laughs.

Chris told me he was going to start putting some medicine in my IV and I might feel some tingling in my hand. He said to tell him when I felt something. About 30 seconds later, the ceiling and those big surgical lights got all wavy. My hand felt like it disappeared. Then I told him that my head started to feel a little light.

Fast forward.

When I woke up in the recovery area I was shaking violently. I remember being cold and in pain. Chris had just removed the breathing tube from my throat and my throat was feeling miserable. I never actually felt the tube go in or come out, but he was standing there with it in his hand cleaning up, so I assume it had just been removed. Nurses were running around piling blankets on me.

Nurse Brenda was my nurse and she was working on getting my medication levels right in the IV. The shaking finally stopped, but it would end up taking four doses of morphine to get the leg pain down. I asked for another one, but she was concerned about my shallow breathing and told me if I could get my breathing rate up, she’d hit it again. That became an ongoing problem for me. Apparently I came out of the anesthesia very quickly and was mentally alert and unhappy with the leg pain. I don’t recall that, but that’s what I was told.

My surgeon came by to visit with me and tell me how things went. I don’t remember what he said, but he told my wife the same thing so this is what she told me. The surgery was a success. He’d been in there for about 90 minutes. The meniscus tear was very small and he was able to remove the damaged tissue and leave a good amount of cartledge in the knee. My ACL was in perfect shape. The arthritis in me knee was a direct result of the knee dislocation and not due to a defect or degenerative condition. With that in mind, it’s very unlikely that I will develop any long term problems from the injury or from any arthritis down the road. That was all good news, but there was some bad news too. I had deep bone bruises on my knee cap and leg bones around the knee. A bone bruise is like a skin bruise… blood vessels burst open from a severe impact and blood pools and clots beneath the skin. That’s what I have too, but it’s in the bones. That has been the source of 80% of my pain since the actual injury. There is nothing that can be done to help them… they go away on their own like a skin bruise… but bone bruises can take months to go away. It’s just something I’ll have to deal with for a while longer. There was also some frayed tissue in there that he cleaned up. The process was very successful. He did have to create a third incision point in my knee to do more investigation on the bruises as they were a surprise. They didn’t show up on the MRI or X-Rays. Basically, they filled me knee up with lots of saline and put cameras and cutting tools in there to look around and fix things. I have a few stitches and my knee is the size of a cantelope and is in the old straight leg immobilizer.

Because my breathing was shallow and my pain wasn’t under control, I had to stay an extra hour in the recovery room. I got moved into a regular room and my wife was allowed to join me. She was happy to see me, but was also more informed about what had been happening than I was. Nurse Tony gave me a soda and some crackers and I wolfed them down fast. He gave me another soda, but told me to take it easy… since I was highly likely to throw up. Not me. I was just thirsty. Test one was to be able to drink on my own. Test two was to sit up in a chair for 15 minutes on my own. I got up from my little stretcher bed and hobbled into a chair. That’s when I noticed the blankets under me were all brown stained. Great… that explained why my guts felt fine… I’d pooped all over the place. Not really, it was that yellow-brown dye/cleaner that they rub all over you before surgery. No bowel explosion for me.

The chair was comfy, but I got in a wheelchair and head for the car. I spent the rest of the day doped up and stupid… in and out of sleep. I woke up for good around 3:00AM and started getting mental clarity again.

Today has been ok for the most part. The knee is still very tender, but it’s better than yesterday. I have a new pile of pills for pain and antibiotics. I’ve got some pretty cool pictures of the inside of me knee. They’re all pretty tame, except the bruise photo… that one’s kinda nasty.

Tomorrow I can take the bandages off. I can wash the wound then as well. Monday I meet with the surgeon to go over things.

All this coherent though has made me tired… I’m going to take a nap.

Posted by Monty at 1:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm too doped up to make a good post, but just update the people who read this to get my heath status... here's latest.

Surgery was successful.

Tomorrow when I'm a bit more level, I'll type more... but for now, I'm in a lot of pain... and keeping the Vicodin flowing.

Posted by Monty at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've got 12 hours to go until cutting time.

I haven't really had time to be nervous until now.

I can't tell if I'm more nervous or just ready for it all to be over.

Lame knee.

Hospitals are lame, but whatever it takes to get the stupid thing fixed.

Posted by Monty at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Happy Day, Happy Day!

I have finally achieved my medical insurance goal. I've reached the maximun deductible for my medical insurance. That's right, now they've got to eat 70% off the cost of anything I do for the rest of the year... woo-hoo!

My $2,000 MRI put me right over the top.

I've got to pay $700 of that, but the happy part is that there'll be no deductible on my $7500 procedure next week or the 12 (at least) physical therapy sessions that are about $150 a pop.

I'm switching insurance on May 1.

That way I can squeeze every bit of benefit I can from them. I could switch now... but since I've got a 0 deductible... screw 'em. Eat the cost Aetna.

I actually hope the Board of Directors for Aetna gets AIDS.

I originally wished cancer on them... but that was mean.

Get some hiv-ee though.

Also, never get Aetna insurance.

I'm still not sure if I would have been better off just paying out of pocket... that's not true, after surgery, I'm sure insurance was the way to go.

Medco Prescription Plan, though, great. I'm not all negatives.

They work like champs.

They let me have coverage for 90 days after I left my crap job and said that if I didn't pay them in 90 days, they'd bill me then cancel.

Unlike Aetna... who cancelled me the day after I stopped working, billed me 4 weeks later, processed another 2 weeks, then said I could resubmit all claims and they'd back date them if eligible. Guess who was making lots of visits to the ER and doctors thinking he was insured and wasn't... yep... Larry Hernandez. I was insured... but had to pay out of pocket for 2 months until the paperwork caught up.

H

I

V

Aetna

If you have AIDS... get insurance besides aetna, because I think it's not covered. Anything that touches blood or air is not covered by aetna.

Hey... sushi for lunch was cool.

Posted by Monty at 11:01 PM | Permalink

Not me!

This morning I had my appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to go over my MRI. It did confirm the torn meniscus. I will be having surgery.

At this point I'm welcoming it. I'm just sick of the pain and gimping around.

Next week... probably not so gung ho.

The procedure will be done arthroscopicly. Two inch cuts on either side of the knee... one will fill the knee with water/saline to open everything up like a balloon, the other for a camera and cutting tool.

They will be removing the torn tissue and then reshaping the area around the tear. Also, they will be removing some of the arthritic bone on my knee cap and probably on the leg bone in the knee as well.

I'll have to be off my feet for a week probably and then back to physical therapy I go.

I'm tentatively scheduled to go in next Thursday depending on the OR schedule and the anesthesialogist (I know I didn't spell that one right.) But most likely late next week.

Sigh.

Not really the best news in the world, but oh well.

Now I need to go tell my new boss that after working here for two weeks, I need a vacation.

Posted by Monty at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I did an MRI last night for my knee. What a strange device the MRI is. Loud as all get out. Get out! No, you get out!

The procedure wasn't terrible, but it wasn't enjoyable.

Basically having to hold really really still for 45 minutes was the worst part of the game. I had some Pink Floyd to listen to, so that was cool and relaxing.

An MRI, for those that don't know, is like a giant tube that you slide into and it is full of the loudest magnets in the world. It's a bit creepy, but not terrible.

Now I have these amazing pictures of my knee. They gave me a CD of them and I went looking around at the images last night. My knee looks fine to me. Although I don't know what a knee is supposed to look like, but I think it's fine. It doesn't feel fine, but I'm going to guess that my meniscus is ok. We'll find out officially next Wednesday morning.

Also, I got a job offer this morning.

Posted by Monty at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

On Monday I had a job interview. It went well. Great place to work it sounds. I'd need to pick up a couple of technical skills very quickly, but I need to do that anyway. Salary might be an issue... lack of some development skills might be an issue, but I certainly nailed the interview. If I get the job, it was on charm and charisma.

Today, I went back to visit the orthopedic surgeon.

He'd read me report from Dr. Steve the physical therapist and did a very, very brief exam. The conclusion is that I do have a torn meniscus. To what degree is unknown. I will have an MRI done next Monday to map it out. Following that (about another week), it's very likely that I'll be having the surgery. We discussed it briefly today. The surgeon was in favor of the surgery pending the MRI. The location and the severity of the tear will determine the success rate and recovery time. The procedure is the same in most cases and is done via arthroscopy. It takes about 45 minutes to an hour.

Then more physical therapy again.

Note: Having rehabbed and strengthen my knee before surgery greatly increases the success rate and decreases recovery time... so it wasn't time wasted.

Posted by Monty at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've got a job interview on Monday. It's actually part of a process with the bank that I mentioned. I'll be meeting with a VP and this should be the final step in a go-no go for that job. I could use a job about now.

My physical therapy visits are about $100 a pop... twice a week... just finished week 4.

And that's not the bad news.

Something's wrong with my meniscus. It's cartiledge in the knee. As everything in my knee is getting better, it's also clear that something isn't. As I bend my knee towards the 90 degree mark, it feels like my knee is a water balloon and the compression of the joint is squeezing to the sides all the water... almost to a popping point. Because my knee was all jammed up, it wasn't a big deal. No that the other pain is easing... it's clear something is still wrong and isn't getting better with PT.

The PT guys, Dr. Steve and Jason limited my workout today after noticing pretty bad swelling. We did some tests and their suspending PT pending a review by my ortho. Their belief is that I've got damage to the meniscus. An MRI is needed to determine the extent... and/or scope it. If it's torn or partially torn... we're back at the surgery conversation again. If it's some scar tissue or a bit of loose cartiledge, it can be scoped out or worn down through exercise... but it's probably not the latter since nothing is locking in the knee.

Anyway... Tuesday... I go in for a visit to the ortho. Probably then to the hospital for the MRI.

Then either surgery or more PT... or surgery and a lot more PT.

I'm somewhat worried that in the kharmic amazement of my life, I'll get the job and then have to take a leave of absence after my first week to get surgery and then be out of commission for 3 or 4 weeks.

Posted by Monty at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)