Drink Rum

Charlie, you should be thrilled to know that I am going to give your antics last night a pass and not make today's post about your drunken pokerness. Granted, I could easily post pages on what could be dubbed "Charlie Doesn't Have an Indoor Voice". Or about your stealthy moves climbing over a saddle or you logical flaw regarding whether or not Pam was serious about shoving a glass of water up your ass. (She was.) Enough on that.

Actually, not... Pam, thanks for hosting the poker party. It was good fun. Also, thanks for the Scotch. 12 year old single malt goodness. E-mail me the label if you don't mind. Also, also... I owe you $5. I did some math wrong during payout.

So... I'm in an absolutely foul mood. I'm quite tired. I've been fighting sinus problems for a week. Work was a mess. I just feel completely drained. So today's post will be a mean one. Oh yeah, I was almost run off the road today by a swarthy teen in a low-rider on the way to work. He got double middle fingers and had I not been late for work I might have followed him so as to hit him in the head with a tire iron. Probably not. Maybe. I thought about it. Good segue...

I hate people that seem to think that their entitled to something. Like the butt hole in traffic, Mike Vick (yeah I'm gonna talk about him) seems to think that because he's a star athlete (ath-uh-leet) with $100 million he can do whatever he wants.

Those of you who follow things, know what this is about, but for those that don't:

Mike Vick is an over-rated thug of an a$$ who is the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons.
He was charged with federal charges resulting from his purchasing a piece of property for use in illegal dog fights, for organizing a gambling operation, and for the slaughter of dogs.

Mike Vick has plead guilty to a conspiracy charge to operate a dog fighting ring. He has also admitted through his lawyer that his actions caused the destruction of six dogs. This is all from court papers.

These are all Federal charges. Virginia is setting up its own set.

So fine. Vick is a disgusting human being. He goes to jail. He loses millions. His career is ruined. All perfectly fine.

But now come the apologists. The NAACP is saying that Vick's admission of guilt isn't really an admission of guilt... it's him just cutting his losses. It's really the witnesses who have made sworn testimony that VIck killed dogs who are out to save themselves. The NAACP also thinks that the NFL shouldn't punish him and that Nike should give him his endorsements back. I remember when the NAACP had a concern about black role models in society. Shame on you NAACP, shame on you.

Several NFL players have come out to defend Vick too. Most cite the fact that Vick came from a horrible inner city childhood and dog fights were a part of his culture. Ya know... I've know lots of people from that type of background... none of them ever got millions of dollars... none of them ran dog fighting rings... at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself. It's not always society. Sometimes... the problem is you.

Clinton Portis, who I hope breaks his other shoulder, supported Vick using the "they're his dogs, he can do what he wants to with them". 150 years ago, people could have made the same statement referring to slavery.

Several folks have talked about how Vick should be given a pass because of his superior athletic ability and all of the good things he's done. Sure. I guess if OJ gets off, let's let everyone run amuck.

Then there's the hunting arguement. If you kill a deer... it's hunting. If you kill a dog, it's a crime.

Except you don't breed the deer. You don't train the deer. You aren't responsible for the personality instilled on the deer. The deer doesn't look to you to provide for its livelihood. The deer doesn't trust you.

The saddest thing about it all is that as Vick was smashing his dog's head against a wall trying to kill it... the dog's thoughts were probably of trying to figure out what it did wrong to so anger its companion.

I can't think of a punishment gruesome enough for him. I was thinking he should either be fed to dogs or maybe have his head smashed in with a brick or maybe even electrocution until he catches fire.

Or maybe he should have to come to my house and play with my fun dogs and see what he's been destroying.

Or both.

Posted by Monty at 1:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today is Max's birthday. He's the big oh-n-ee. He's grown alot in his first year on Earth. As you can see from below he went from a 12lb puff ball to a 60lb brick. He spent his first few months biting me as hard as he could, now he only bites softly if at all. He play drive is still as strong as ever and he will pounce on anything that moves. He still loves to eat grass, bugs, gravel, more grass, and often dirt.

He's learned how to open the door to the deck if I don't latch it. In true "Max" form, he just rams into it. He's turned into quite a brute... he's not as fast as either Jack or Eva, but he's twice as dense. He's known for getting up a head of steam and ramming into the other dogs with his shoulder. Yesterday he reminded me of the bull in those old Bugs Bunny cartoons where the bull would come running up and launch Bugs into the air by butting into him. Jack and Eva were wrestling and Max felt left out to he charged from across the yard at full speed and rammed into both of them... sending Eva sailing and leaving Jack to wonder what'd just hit him.

He's still a sweetie too. His favorite things are licking my eye (I know, odd, but he digs it) and sleeping with his head on my leg.

Happy Birthday Mad Max Von Sydow

Posted by Monty at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Here's a sad story about a pooch locked up in a rural animal shelter in West Virginia... almost Ohio. She was brought in by Animal Control because she attacked a child of her previous owner. Animal Control, based on the story of the owner, filed her as a dangerous animal with a history of biting children.

As far as adoption chances go... hers were basically zippy. It was probably for the best considering how dangerous she was.

Except there was more to the story.

The owner of the dog wasn't a saint. Nor were the seven children of various ages who tortured the dog for its estimated 4 or 5 months of life. It spent its days chained in the yard and abused in a variety of manners by the kids. At one point the dog was even hung up by one of its legs for several hours. Finally, the dog had had it and struck out at one of the kids and bit it. The parents/owners called Animal Control to dispose of the dangerous animal.

Thus ended the sad tortured life of a mistreated puppy.

But it also was the beginning of a new life for that same dog. Below is Eva Braun Fuchs, the latest addition to our pack.

She's about 5 months old and a German Shepherd / Collie mix. I don't think I've ever met a more sweet dog. She is very nervous around new people, new dogs, and new places. Considering what she'd been through, it's not surprising. Once she warms up to you (after a patient 2 to 3 minutes), she'll hug you and try to curl up in your lap... despite her being 40lbs. She also likes to surf the edge of the couch and swim in her pool in the yard.

The other dogs are getting used to her. Max was a bit gruff and fought her for food, but has relaxed and it enjoying his new playmate. Jack is trying to teach her the ropes of household life. She's never lived a day in her life indoors, but she's smart and is quickly learning the routine.

More will follow on her story, but so far it's been a happy tail. A big shout out to the WV shelter staff who helped her find us and to the neighbors of the dog's original owner who told the "whole" story about the dog. I'm also hoping that charges will be filed against the abusive family in the case. If not, I'm hoping they all get butt cancer. I actually I hope they get charged and get butt cancer.

Posted by Monty at 11:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night, my youngest dog (8 months) hit puberty. He was wrestling with the big dog and started humping him. The big dog got out of the way and the little guy just kept on humping the air basically. He was looking at me like, "I'M POSSESSED!" (Think Martin Short in Innerspace)

The big dog suddenly realized the he'd been violated and promptly beat the crap out of the puppy.

The big dog then mounted the puppy's head and gave him what fer.

Big gay dog orgy at my place.

Also, I put a down payment on Operation Deck & Fence. It should be ready by the end of May... just in time for a 3 day holiday weekend party.

Posted by Monty at 7:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So we've met with contractors and we've made some decisions. We're ready to move forward on a deck and fencing project.

I'll now have the ability to have a grill and set many animals on fire. I may chose to eat some of them as well. I will be able to create my voo-doo sacrifice pit in the yard and with a privavy fence, no one will be able to tell who I'm tossing in the pit. Weeee!

I've also decided that the yard in the back will need a trained monkey to serve cocktails and lemonade.

Sadly, the deck does not come with a deck gun. I can add one on later on my own, but I was really hoping I'd have one sooner.

mope

Posted by Monty at 1:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm going to give my dogs their due... which is the opposite of what normally happens when they give me their doo. As in doo-doo for the readers who don't remember the 5 year old phrase for Mr. Poopy.

In a year without leave time... which is like that old Rankin/Bass A Year Without a Santa Claus... I've decided to spend money that would have normally gone towards field trips and vacations and instead put it into home improvement projects.

The dogs are getting the back yard. We're going to fence it up and turn it into a dog theme park complete with a doggie version of Space Mountain and nightly fireworks. What a treat that'll be.

As part of operation kill lots of trees, we're going to also (finally) put the deck on the back of the house. I'll miss the door to no where that we have now, but I'm guessing I'll like it even better when the door actually goes somewhere. The dogs will probably also like not having to jump 15 feet down to get to their new Doggie Didney Whurl.

If I have any money left over, we're going to do some landscaping and put in a patio or something similar.

Then, dogs allowing, we'll have a grand opening party.

Since I keep forgetting to write here... here's a quick updated:
Kerie's going back to school.
My jaw is better.
My insomnia is out of control.
My knee is crunchy.

Oh and Max the puppy loves to eat romance novels. That's a good boy, Max.

Posted by Monty at 3:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)